What it takes to be a daddy
by JrockSpam's Requested Fics
Summary: NOT mpreg! A night in 2003 was enough to change Ruki and Reita's life forever. Heading home from shooting a PV, the lovers find a lost child. While Reita wants to do the right thing and find his parents, Ruki grew an attachment- and he didn't let the boy go! Now, 2 years later, Ruki explains what happened. But what happened to the baby's parents? Gazette reituki jrock
1. Chapter 1

_**NOTE: Obviously I don't own Ruki or Reita or The GazettE. If I did own them I wouldn't be writing fiction based on them, now would I?**_

_**Enjoy!**_

Parenthood comes to someone rather suddenly. Everything can be planned to perfection, to every minor detail before that little person enters the world, but even so, it's the moment the parents lay eyes on the child that really makes everything hit. The usual questions go through the person's head like 'can I do this?' and 'Am I really ready?' and 'Can this be real?' all of which will be answered in time.

For two unlikely people, the arrival of the son, whose blood was a different shade to both of theirs', was unexpected and not in the way that people would think. These two people where Suzuki Akira and Matsumoto Takanori, two young men now at the age of 26 and 25. Their lives at the time were busy but close to perfect, with careers forever becoming more successful, and their satisfaction in life flowing like a stream on a nice windless summer's day. Under the names of their second personalities- Reita and Ruki- the two had made themselves well known in the music business as musicians; as a bass guitarist and singer to be precise, in a rock band that used heavy shock value.

Their relationship with one another was somewhat confusing. All though their close friends and family knew that they shared a flat together, no one but themselves knew of the deeper relationship that the two shared in private. They kept it a well hidden secret for many reasons, most notably being due to the reaction of others, and how it might affect their band 'The Gazette'. But one night in 2003, this would all begin to change-

You know what? Let's quit the fancy talk and just say everything straight, yeah? I mean, I'm not writing a new set of lyrics here and this technically is my confession on my secret true life of the past three years… And why the hell am I writing in the 3rd person about myself?! I've been reading too much English Victorian novellas lately I think…

Re-start-

I'm Matsumoto Takanori, and you may all know me as Ruki now… If you don't then how about the singer-guy from 'that band' who sang that song called Ruder? Yeah, that's me!  
Anyway, after a few years of thought, I officially decided I've had enough of hiding a few certain parts of personal life in shadows as if they were embarrassing or something. This is something I'm proud of and I don't want to have it locked up any more like a demented animal. Music is my number one love, that's what I tell everyone, but to be honest, there's two other things, two people, who share that number one spot as well.

In this confession, I'm going to make all those yaoi-obsessed fan girls scream in happiness, but then again cry when you realise I'm not such a super cool, scary, pretty rocker-like guy behind closed doors. I mean, I try to be, and in the beginning I was, but in the last year or two I've sort chucked the looking-sexy-all-day-look away in my free time. You tend not have to time to curl your hair and put your make-up when you have some else who needs a lot of help just putting on a shirt and jumper… And that's just Reita! The other person in my life is a lot more trouble.

It was 9 o'clock at night at the end of a day in 2003, a year after our band had first debuted. I was sitting in the passenger seat of the car with my secret boyfriend and bassist Reita driving next to me. We were on our way home from filming our new music video for our song 'wife'. Me and Reita had decided to try and miss the traffic, so we thought it would be a clever move to leave early, still in our costumes and make-up. I even still had the foaming cream stuck in my fringe. Much to our bad luck, we ended up stuck in the bloody traffic anyway. I moaned constantly with boredom, leaning my head back and kicking my skinny legs up onto the dashboard.

"Won't be long…" Reita kept muttering every five minutes, the whole time staring at the jammed road in front of us, willing it to move with his mind. I think he started to lose belief in saying that quite quickly, but he kept on just for the luck of it…

I scowled at him when he said it for a seventh time since we'd been paused, but it went unnoticed by the bassist since he was concentrating far too hard on the frozen road in front of us.

It had been a long day that day… It wasn't bad in anyway, accept for the current situation of being stuck in bloody choca-blocka traffic, and had actually been one of the best day's in my life. It was such fun wearing that strange suit, having all the strange make up smacked on my face and being tied up and acting like some kind of mental patient! Even now, I still think shock value videos are the best to film, but we don't do them so much anymore… We've sort of grown up a lot recently, but no one can really wonder why. As I sat in the car, deep in thought, I quickly came to the conclusion that I could really get used to a life of fame. I can remember sitting in the car, the heating blowing straight into my face to keep me warm and protect us from the cold night air outside, wondering if this time next year we would be known worldwide! Or, at least be very well known in Japan! I was so determined and hopeful for our band to be an utter success that I forgot a lot of things in my life. I even ended up getting disowned by my parents. It was kind of my fault, well it was almost completely, since I chose music over my own family. But now, due to the situation I was about to get myself in, I'm not sure if it might have been better to be in contact with my parents of whether it was good that at the time I was no longer in contact with them, or to be correct, being totally ignored by them. They might have been able to help in some ways, but something tells me they would have told me to get rid of him…

I literally cheered loudly as the traffic began to move after an hours wait, slowly and surely at first, before picking up full speed so we we're back to doing 40 miles an hour down the road, heading for home. With the hum of the motor, the soft rock music flowing from the car speakers and the warm air, I soon began to feel overcome by fatigue. My eyes began to close as Reita turned down a road off the highway and into the countryside rice field roads we always went down as a short cut. I remember thinking to myself 'home in 20 minutes…' before closing my eyes with exhaustion. After that my thoughts became rambled and uneasy as I headed to dreamland. But I never actually managed to get to dream land. I was awoken by Reita's scream of alarm, and the car making a quick, jolting swerve round something in the road. I opened my eyes and ended up screaming myself as I saw a thick, hanging tree branch getting a little too close to my side of the wind screen a little too quick. Lucky for me, Reita thrust his foot on to the brake, saving me from having the dreaded tree threaded through my collier bone. We stopped with such force, that we were both sent forward, saved by our seatbelts pulling us back successfully.

For a second, we just sat there, breathing heavily and staring forward in utter shock, our chests throbbing from the seatbelts grip and the muscles in our necks screaming in agony; whip lash is always fun. Reita's hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly, his eyes wide and terrified. He shook himself from his term of shock, before he began to clumsily undo his seat belt buckle in a panic to jump out the car and investigate.

"What the fuck-" Was all I could say, and in a screechy voice too, quickly turning my quivering head to Reita in confusion, just to see him jump out the car like a mad man. I undid my own seatbelt with quivering hands before throwing the door open and following suit with stomping feet, my own curiosity for what Reita had swerved to miss running over.

"What the hell was it-" I asked angrily, before my words froze on the edge of my lips.

Reita was bending down in front of a small, terrified looking young boy holding a cuddling toy. The boy was clearly very young, a year old, maybe almost two, with a jet black hair with a brown tint to it that hung to his ears. His big brown eyes turned to me in true horror, and then grew wider at the sight of me. This was when he started crying, dropping his toy at the sight and staring at me as if was about to murder him with a block headed hammer. The child howled loudly, little screeches appearing amongst the grizzled cries every so often.

"Ruki" Reita hissed "It's your make up!"

I frowned at him, before stomping over to the young boy, and quickly hauling the child up under the arms. Make-up is make up. No one should be afraid of someone because of a little paint! That was my opinion, and with my opinions I don't care what age the person is- it still goes. Well, I WANTED people to be scared because of make-up in music videos, but at that moment I didn't want anyone freaking out because of my strange face paint. I held the boy out in front of me, staring at him in annoyance and frustration.

"Ruki!" was Reita's angry cry at me, standing up with an expression of alarm and fear at what I was going to do, his arm at the ready to save the boy from my clutches.

The child cried harder in my hold, one hand covering a tearing eye and the other holding onto his dungaree strap, absolutely terrified of my face. I did my best to soften my expression and act as nice and safe-like as I could, now losing my tough exterior and just feeling like an utter prick… He was only a baby anyway, wasn't he? How would he know the difference between me and the supposed monster under his bed?

"Hey" I said in a voice kinder and higher then was natural for me "It's okay" I slowly brought the child closer to me, holding him against my chest, my hand supporting his back. "I'm not going to hurt you" The child turned his face away from my own, but even so, placed his head on to my shoulder, burying his wet eyes into my suit.

I looked at Reita with worried eyes "Where did he come from?"

"How am I supposed to know?" The skinny blonde scoffed in reply quietly with a shrug "He was just there in the road…" Reita stepped closer, reaching a hand up and stroking the boys tousled locks.

The little boy flinched and turned his little head to face us both. His tears had finally ceased, leaving his brown eyes all large, glossy and sparkling like little stars. Reita stretched his hand out once again and stroked the child's cheek with the back on his finger. A small smile appeared on the boy's face, a little giggle erupting from his rosebud mouth. I couldn't help but give a little laugh too at the boy's sudden joy.

"Can you speak?" Reita asked gently and slowly

The child just stared at him for a second "Yes…" came the stretched word from the pink lips.

"What's your name?" I asked in a sweet voice.

Keeping his head down, the boy replied unhelpfully with "No…"

"He doesn't have a name?" Reita stated with raised eyebrows.

"He must have a name…" I argued, readjusting my hold on the child so it was more secure. The boy replied by wrapping his arms round my neck tightly, and then simply laying his head on my shoulder. He still didn't look at me…

"Maybe he doesn't know it…" Reita mumbled, his finger still running over the child's cheek as if he'd never seen a baby before.

The boy giggled, his little chubby hand whizzing out, from around my neck and grabbing Reita's middle finger happily, laughing and giggling in utter delight. It was moments before I realised that I was smiling fondly at the sight. I shook away the expression, and looked back at Reita with a serious face.

"What do we do with him?" I asked in my natural voice.

Reita looked round at our dark setting and sighed, slowly pulling his finger away from the baby "Well… There aren't any houses round here for about two miles"

I blinked, not understand the point of him saying that. He caught on to my blinks.

"I mean, he couldn't have walked two miles away from a house" Reita gave me a dumb look while I mimed an 'oh'.

"Should we search the area to see if we can find anyone?"

Reita let out a shaky breath "We'll get in the car and have a little drive to see if we can find anyone who might know him, cool?" He stated, already heading to the car to back up back to the road.

"Alright" I replied slowly with a shrugged, adjusting my hold on the child again.

Reita slammed the door behind him, the sound echoing through the dark woods. As the car started, the young child whimpered in my arms. I tightened my hold on him and stepped back to make sure Reita couldn't hit us when he reversed.

"So, kid…" I spoke awkwardly "You must have a name?"

"Nooo…" The child cooed, one hand flapping against my shoulder as if the question was so offensive that I need to be beaten for it.

If he can't tell me, maybe I should guess? I thought he might be just playing a game with me, so this seemed like the best option

"Is you're name Airi?" I guessed randomly

The child shook his little head.

"Shuichi? Sho?"

The child did the same thing

"Takeshi?"

Another shake of the head. I exhaled tiredly before trying something new just as Reita began to reverse the car.

"You must have a name kid!" I insisted with a little annoyance.

The boy didn't reply, and instead began rubbing his hand slowly up and down my shirt, obviously liking the feel of its soft texture.

"Come on!" Reita complained, yelling out the car window for me and the kid to get in the vehicle.

I shook myself from my thoughts, and ran to the car, flying the door open and jumping in. As soon as I slammed the door shut again, Reita began changing gears, mumbling to himself about 'bad parents' and 'who in the name of god lets a kid walk off?'.

I placed the boy in my lap, and wrapped the seat belt across us both.

"Got any ideas of what his name might be?" I asked lazily.

"Why?" Asked quizzical Reita

"I'm just turning it into a little game…"

I don't know… Hiro?" Reita shrugged.

I looked down at the child asked "Is your name Hiro?"

The child looked up at me innocently and shook his head. I groaned, covering my eyes and rubbing my forehead.

Reita was very wrong. We spent an hour driving around the country side in search of some possible parents but found no one. We didn't see a single person in the country side. To make double sure, we went round every place two times- some of it three! But no. We found no one.

Reita parking on the side of the road as he finally gave up. He sighed heavily, collapsing his head into his hands

"Oh Jesus Christ" he muttered into his palms "God Ruki, what the fuck are we doing?"

I sighed to myself, undoing the seat belt and allowing the boy to move around freely on my lap. The boy chose only to readjust his position so he was sitting side ways across my lap, nuzzling his head against my chest happily, now finally looking up at me. Our eyes met and he stared again. I had one arm that he was resting his back on, the other arm wrapped round to meet to hold the boys side to him from moving a little too much. The hand on my arm that was being used as a wall, twisted itself round to stroke his arm reassuringly, reminding him this was a safe person. At this sudden touch, the boy's head whizzed round and stared at my hand. I heard him gurgle before he grabbed my own small hand with his minuscule hands, holding on tightly to my thumb and baby finger. He looked back up at me, his face not totally relaxed and smiling. He squeaked out a little amazed laughter, before jiggling about on my lap.

I turned my head to see Reita watching with an amused expression.

"The kid likes you, Ruki" He whispered, before turning his gazed to me.

It giggled myself for reasons I wasn't sure of, before my attention was taken back to the baby, who hand let go of my hand, and now had his grip on my shirt, pulling it up and down.

"I think he wants to stand up or something" Reita muttered an explanation.

I looked up at the ceiling and then down at the boy. He was sure he'd be fine standing up, but part of me was worried then I might, somehow, lift him up too high and hit his head. The baby carried on tugging so, with gentle hands, I slowly pulled off, shaking my head and saying like a mother-

"No…"

The boy looked at me with confusion.

"Ruki, aren't you mean?" Laughed Reita fondly.

The boy looked up at me with big eyes, an open mouthed smile smacked on his face. A look of utter glee painted itself across his face as he wanted up at my face and announced his sweet, high little voice-

"Ki!"

I blinked at him. "Key?"

The little boy repeated his announcement, point a finger up at me happily.

"I think he's trying to say Ruki!" laughed Reita fondly, leaning back in his seat sleepily.

He massive, blessed smile spread across my face.

"Ru-ki" I said to him, stretching out the sounds to try and help him say my name properly

"ooo" the boy cooed, missing the 'Luh' sound of the beginning "Ki" he finished

"Looo-Kiiii" I said, forcing myself not to roll my Rs. I didn't know much about children back then, but I pretty sure that rolling Rs was a little too much for a kind that most probably hadn't hit the age of 2 yet.

"Looo…Ki" the baby sounded out the sounds, listening to himself as if he was deciding if he liked out it sounded. "Loo-ki. RukI! Ruki, Ruki, Ruki!" he said triumphantly, jiggling about happily on my lap.

I giggled at the fidgeting child, smiling down at him as he clapped his hands in approval of his latest achievement.

"Maybe we should knock round at the houses." Reita suggested

"huh?" I mumbled, still watching the dancing baby on my lap

"Know round the nearest houses and ask if they know the kid." He explained with a yawn.

My eyes darted at the clock.

"It's almost 11 o'clock at night" I pointed out.

"So?"

By the time we get to the first house, it'll be past 11. We'll be disturbing sleeping people!"

"I doubt the kids parents will be sleeping-"

"But the people who aren't his parents will be pissed! " I argued, my eyes no longer on the baby boy "Plus, I think we'll give them a heart attack in these get ups-"

"What do you suggest then?!" Reita roared at me angrily.

I scowled at him, too used to his out bursts to be phased by them. But there was a little someone who wasn't used to them at all- and he was defiantly bothered by it.

The baby started howling, big tears streaming down his face as he flung his arms round and head butted me in the chest, trying to escape.  
I wrapped my arms round him, lifting him up close to me, holding him tightly and resting his head on my shoulder. I shushed him, rubbing his back comfortingly.

"Hey hey" I whispered to him "it's okay. Reita isn't angry with _you_-"

"Ruki-" Reita interrupted in a strict voice. As I turned to him, I saw his face was the opposite, a desperate look on it "What should we do?"

I bit my inner lip and looked down at the boy.

"Take him home?"

_**What do you think? Should I carry it on?**_


	2. Chapter 2

"I can't believe we're doing this…" Reita mumbled to himself repeatedly as we got out his car and headed into the apartments. "I can't fucking believe _I'm_ doing this"

I got out the car, the baby boy curled up in my arms enjoying my warmth. I followed Reita, who left the door open for us kindly, with a heavy sigh. Shutting the door, my arm gripping the boy on to my hip, I watched Reita press the evaluator button and to be blessed with a door immediately opening for us. I briskly followed the bassist in through the metal doors. As the door closed, silence fell. But only for a matter of painful seconds.

"Kami-sama, we could get arrested for this!" Reita exploded, burying his face in his manly hands

"Dude, we haven't kidnapped him" I reassured my lover, my eyes on the boy in my arms.

The baby's brown eyes looked up at me, his hands moving to grip on to my collar before he drove his face into the nape of neck in search of security and comfort.

"That's what we say, not what a judge would say! His parents are probably devastated!" Reita grumbled, scratching his neck as he became irritable.

"Ever thought that they may not be worried at all? Maybe they abandoned him"

"Takanori…" Reita drew out, his use of my birth name showing his annoyance "How likely is that, really?"

"I dunno, but we can't rule it" I argued stubbornly.

"I can't rule out 'lost child' either" the bassist frowned

I grinded my teeth and looked away from him, fixating my sight on the elevator's doors. The bell rang and the lift stopped. I hurriedly stepped out before Reita, readjusting the boy on my hip and marching down the hall, my spare hand rummaging through my pocket for my keys.

"Ruuu-kee" the boy said again, head out of my shoulder and now looking around at his new surrounds.

"That's me" I muttered, abandoning my anger for a moment to kiss the boy the head.

I paused, the key sitting in the lock. I looked at the boy's forehead, an imprint of my lips staining his skin. I wasn't sure why I did that. I shook myself from my thoughts, and turned the key, forcing the door open fiercely. I attempted to slam the door behind me but Reita got there too quickly, holding the door before it could shut in his face.

"Ruki-"

"What?!" I spat over my shoulder, heading straight for my room.

"You're getting attached-"

"I'm not! I'm just trying to NOT frighten him. Jeez, Rei" I scoffed, shutting my door behind me.

I leaned on the door, letting out a long breath I hadn't realised I had been holding. The boy struggled in my arms, whining and squeaking as he kicked his legs. Without a word, I slowly set the wiggling child down on the ground, keeping a watchful eye on him. As the baby looked round the room in awe, I allowed my legs to give way beneath me, allowing me to slowly slide down the door until I was sitting on the red carpet. I watched as the little boy's eyes fell on my bed. He made a squeal of glee before toddling over and reaching up for the old cuddly toys that decorated above my pillows. Well, a few old, a few were one's Reita had given me. I crawled over to him, reaching up to grab a lilac bunny my beloved bassist had given to me as an apology present. I handed to the baby, who took it from me wearily, eyeing it as if I handed him a dead alien. His little head turn to look straight up at me, his mouth in the shape of an O and his eyes wide. Then he grinned jumping up and down and shaking the toy in his hand vigorously. He squealed happily again, stamping his little feet. He hugged the rabbit to his chest, his smile slowly falling as he began to investigate my room again.

"Still need a name for you, eh?" I cocked my head to one side.

The baby blinked "Ichi"

"Ichi?" I repeated, only to have the child repeat himself, a slight sound at the beginning that I could not recognise. Upon getting the boy to repeat himself, I still couldn't understand "How about a newer name?" I offered enthusiastically, pausing for a minute as I rummage through my memory for a name I liked "Junichi?"

The baby blinked again. I pointed at him, my eyes looking straight into his own in a confident stare.

"Jun"

The toddler pointed to the centre of his face.

"Ds-oon" he repeated as best he could.

"Close enough" I laughed with a kind smile, pulling myself to my feet one again "Junjun?" I sang as I opened my arms out to him.

Baby Jun grinned, holding out his own arms as he ran to me, the rabbit still in one hand. I scooped Jun up into my arms and headed out the room.

"I bet you're hungry" I spoke to him cheerfully "I know I am"

Jun didn't seem to register what I was saying as he chewed the bunny's ear cheerfully making happy mutters to himself. I headed swiftly down the hall and towards the kitchen. I hovered outside Reita's own room for a second, satisfied as I heard the sound of the shower rushing before carrying on my way.

"What to feed you…" I mumbled as my eyes scanned the rec kitchen "Banana?"

Junichi looked up at me for a moment before going back to chewing the toy.

"Banana it is…" I made a single step forward before a question came to my head. I can't put him down, I have to keep an eye on him. I can't cut up a banana while holding him… I can peel a banana while carrying him either… I-

"Want a hand?" I jumped round to see Reita entering the kitchen, his blonde locks still dripping wet. "I have some pop-topped bottles of flavoured water somewhere. He'll probably drink that." He began to ramble "I'll cut the banana and you make sure he doesn't drop the bottle. Cool?"

"Cool" I stuttered out, a little surprise. I had honestly come to believe that Reita was going to be little help here. It nice when your lover proves your doubts of them to be wrong.

I watched as Reita found a bottle of strawberry water and popped the plastic cap off and left it on the side. I cleared my throat, staring at the abandoned lid until Reita got the gist to put it in the bin. With a sigh, he did so and handed the bottle to Junichi. The baby's eyes widened as he took the bottle slowly. He gave it a little shake before putting it in his mouth. Little Junichi scowled, taking the bottle out his mouth shooting daggers at it. As soon as it occurred to me, I popped the top for him. Junichi tried again, this time smiling. I looked round to see Reita busy away, now almost finished slicing the banana and placing it on a plastic plate. To this day I don't know why we had plastic plates. We never went on picnics. Oh well, it turned out to be rather convenient. Reita placed the plate on the kitchen table before slowly lifting Junichi out my arms without a word. I watched almost curiously as the blonde man sat down at the table with the baby on his lap, slowly taking the bottle away and introducing the child to a slice of yellow fruit. Junichi took hold of the banana piece opening his mouth wide as he did so and looking up at Reita as if to ask 'do I eat this? May I?' of which Reita led the food to the child's waiting mouth.

"So the plan is to keep him until morning and then phone the police" Reita spoke flatly.

It felt like a pin had pierced my heart.

"Yep" I spat, watching Junichi closely.

"You know, maybe we should phone up now-"

"What?" I quickly interrupted, my eyes quickly dashing to scowl at Reita

"Well, we may get in trouble for hiding him all night"

"We're not hiding him!" I snorted

"Yes but-"

"Look, if they ask, we'll say we just found him. We'll say we were driving home and found him along the way. We took him home and phoned them first thing. Instead of saying we found him the night before, okay?"

Reita grumbled, shaking his head at me disapproving me. He pushed the banana pieces around on the plate, closer to side Jun was closest too

"If you've got something to say, just fucking say it" I spat

Reita didn't answer my question "He's a hungry boy" he chirped fondly.

I leaned back against the wall, fiddling with a piece of red hair "Now who's getting attached" I muttered, luckily quietly enough to be unheard. Junichi ate the Banana pieces very slowly, every now and then leaving his head back to look up at Reita and smiling happily. I mumbled against getting ready for bed before slinking out the kitchen and heading for the bathroom. I closed the door quietly behind me, locking it for safety. I leave back against the brown wood and sighed heavily, closing my eyes for a second before pushing myself a way and heading towards the full body mirror next to the sink. The writing on my chest had now smeared horribly up to my neck, meeting with then 10 black lines I used to disguise the shape of my neck. I have quite a fat neck in my opinion. Not much of a jawline either. I hate it. Forbid any of my future offspring to take after me…

The thought floated around in my head. I'd never really wanted to be a parent. It was never my plan. It was always to succeed, it's always been like that. It only changed once to fit Reita into the picture; to succeed with Reita. With him as my partner, of course any idea of children never came to mind. We were two young men. Having babies wasn't our interest.  
Now, suddenly for me it was. I wanted to be a daddy, and more importantly I wanted to be Junichi's daddy. In a few hours, all my wants had changed. I wanted to be teaching him out to talk, I wanted to teach him to write, I wanted to take him shopping, I wanted to teach him to sing, I wanted to go on tour and come back to see him cheering 'I saw you on tele daddy! You were amazing! When I grow up, I want to be just like you!'.  
Maybe I'm asking too much of this world…  
What am I expecting to happen? For the police to come over and just say 'Oh, he was just abandoned! Keep him!'. Like that would happen, it can't happen… As soon as we aware them that we have him, social services and the police will come over and take him away and we'll never see him again. It'll turn out that he was just lost and he'll go home to his parents and forget all about this…  
A hopeful idea popped into my head-  
Foster care. Maybe if he isn't just lost and he has nowhere to go, me and Reita could foster him! If they never find his parents or they don't want him, we could keep him!

I shook my head of my foolish, childish hopes. I took my black and white pin striped jacket off and chucked it on to the edge of the bath for the moment. I turned the tap on and quickly began slashing and rubbing my neck with the cool water. The palms of my hands turned grey with my make-up and when I finally looked at myself in the sink mirror, my checks were the same dull, depressing colour. My eyes were black like a panda and blood shot. My red and black lipstick was now smeared down my chin and up from the corners of my mouth. I looked sick. I looked insane. I looked like the joker had fallen over in cement and then been slapped multiple times by Batman. I stared at my reflection.

What am I thinking… How is a guy like me supposed to look after a little kid? Reita would be fine. He's a funny guy but he's mature and wise. I'm just an immature child whose only dream is to stand in a spot light.

I filled the sink up with warm water before plunging my face straight into it, bubbling bubbles that travelled up my cheeks to burst as they reached the water surface. The feeling was calming to me. I raised my head back out the water, taking a deep breath in as I did. Shortly following, a knock came from outside.

"Ru, you okay?" called a worried Reita.

Breathlessly, I pushed my damp fringe off my face and shouted back "I'm fine!"

"You sure? You sound like you're being strangled" he half laughed.

I could help but smirk "Not, just washing my face. I'll be out in a second!"

The dreary voice of Reita calling 'Kay' as he headed away echoed. I heard Junichi's baby happy giggle and a thumping sound. I immediately pictured him jumping up and down, hands raised his in a plead for Reita to hoist him up on to his shoulders. I sighed, looking at my appearance one last time before grabbing a flannel and beginning to scrub like there was no tomorrow.

* * *

**_An update! At last!  
Love it if you comment- it's a writer's fuel!_**


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